To Break a Heart
by Ghostrider
Summary: Can love really conqueor all? Even if it is a betrayal of the deepest kind? This is a K/T story so you've been warned.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All characters with the exception of those I have made up are owned by Paramount Pictures. Feel free to distribute this story but please let me know where it's being put up. Do not remove this disclaimer nor my e-mail address and/or name. Please send all feedback (no flames) to mr_spencer@ghostrider.demon.nl  
  
  
  
TO BREAK A HEART  
  
CHAPTER 1  
  
B'Elanna Torres was drinking coffee in her quarters while working on a PADD, trying to figure out how to reroute the EPS conduits to maximize engine efficiency and get a larger power output when her doorbell chimed. Annoyed, she looked up, thinking to herself, " Whomever that is, picked a damn fine time to bother me!" However, she answered for the person to enter. Glaring at whomever it was that dared to disturbed her off duty and planning to give them a piece of her mind plus several of the offender's bodyparts, she was surprised to see Harry Kim enter. Immediately her anger dissipated and a huge grin spread across her face.  
  
"Hey, maquis, will you calm down, ensign Tsaro just ran off when he heard your voice."  
  
"That's good, because I wouldn't want him in my quarters."  
  
"Oh, really, a good looking guy like that and you are not even remotely interested?"  
  
"Nope, not when the only good looking guy I want is already in my quarters", Torres said as she slid into Harry's arms and kissed him passionately. When they broke for air, Harry said,  
  
"Good answer, maquis, or else I would have to discipline you."  
  
"And how would you try to do that, hey," she answered giggling.  
  
"Well, first I would do this" and he started kissing her ridged brow, moving downward to her eyes, nose and mouth, softly murmuring, " and this …… and this…."  
  
A low moan escaped from her lips at his passionate caresses which was silenced by his lips touching hers. The next morning B'Elanna woke up, feeling strong arms holding her around her slim waist. A smile lit up her face.  
  
This was the life, Engineering was running smoothly and she rested in the arms of the man she loved. She couldn't believe her luck; all her live she had tried everything to deny her mixed heritage, fearing its dark side. Many men, both human and alien had been put off by her looks and she had learned to build a wall around her to protect herself from hurt. But that wall had come crashing down the moment she had laid eyes upon Harry in the Ocampa hospital. It was that look in his eyes, not one of hate or loathing, not even of lust. It had been a look of wonder that had touched her deep in her soul. When she had left Voyager and went back to the Maquis raider, she felt overwhelmed by sadness that she might not see him again, that one of them might be killed or that he would have to arrest her as per his duty as a starfleet officer.   
  
They had gotten close during their stay and she had marveled at his cool composure that had reassured her that everything would be alright. But fate had prevailed and now they were more than 65000 lightyears from the Alpha Quadrant. It had taken 3 years before they had confessed their love for each other. 3 Years in which they had become fast friends, 3 years in which she had become jealous of Megan Delaney, Susan Nicolleti and the occasional alien girl that attracted him, she had even been jealous of Libby, his girlfriend on Earth. And the funny thing was, she hadn't known it was jealousy, but believed that it was only concern for his wellbeing because none of these girls were good enough for him, couldn't bring out the fire she knew was hidden within him. It had taken a damn Vulcan in a mating frenzy and his sudden distancing himself from her to make her realize how she really felt about him, even though she wanted Chakotay. She had realized that Chakotay was nothing to her except pure lust. It had taken every ounce of her Klingon pride to go to his quarters and tell her how she felt and hoping against hope that he would feel the same towards her. That had been 8 months ago and now she knew that these had been the happiest months of her entire life even though she insisted on keeping their relationship a secret.  
  
"Good morning, Lanna", he said as he kissed her in the crook of her neck. She snuggled closer to him, feeling his chest against her bare back, low moan escaping her.  
  
"Stop that, Starfleet, we have to get ready for our shift."  
  
"You are no fun at all, maquis, no fun at all."  
  
"You didn't think so last night."  
  
"Yeah, but than you were not in starfleet mode."  
  
"What, how dare you! I'm wearing the uniform but I'm still Maquis and don't you forget it, mister!", she said while playfully slapping him on the arm. They quickly got in the shower together, went to the messhall for one of Neelix's "wonderful" breakfasts and off to their respective posts.  
  
That evening Harry stopped by his quarters to get something before going to Torres.  
  
"Yo, Harry, wait up, man."  
  
Harry looked around and saw Tom Paris, his best friend, running toward him.  
  
"Harry, where are you off to? It's been ages since you and I had some time together."  
  
"Sorry Tom, just a lot of work, you know, I've been too tired to do anything after that."  
  
"Come on, pal o'mine, let's go to Sandrine's and shoot some pool, talk about guy-stuff, generally catch up on things. Whaddaya say?"  
  
"Sorry, but not tonight. Torres and I have to go over some adjustments and upgrades for the main computer and gelpacks."  
  
"Jeez, Harry, the two of you work too hard. Let it go for tonight and then the three of us can shoot some pool."  
  
"Thanks Tom, but this is important. Tell you what, though, tomorrow night you and I will play a few games and reminiscence about the good old days, tell tall stories, okay Tom?"  
  
"Harry, sometimes I just want to punch you out, you're a freakin' workaholic! But okay, tomorrow it is. But don't try to wiggle out of it or else I'm dragging you out of whatever the hell it is you're doing."  
  
"Don't worry, Tom, you won't have to drag me anywhere. I said tomorrow and I will be there tomorrow, alright?"  
  
"You'd better, ensign or I'll make the doc tell you in great detail about the detrimental effects of working too much," Paris said grinning.  
  
"Hey, no need to get nasty. I would rather clean the warpcoils with a toothbrush than to listen to his  
'fascinating' medical explanations."  
  
"Okay Harry, till tomorrow then."  
  
"Night, Tom."  
  
  
  
Kim entered the turbolift on his way to Torres. He felt in his pocket for something. Upon reaching her quarters, he rang the chime.  
  
"Come in."  
  
Kim stepped inside and let the door close behind him. What he saw there surprised him pleasantly. A dinnertable had been set up with candles, silverware, crystal and porcelain, while the light was dimmed.  
  
"Hey, starfleet ", a soft voice called out and he turned around. An involuntary gasp escaped him as he saw B'Elanna standing in the doorway to her bedroom. She was wearing a short, tight, maroon colored dress that accentuated her curves perfectly. She looked gorgeous and Harry was mesmerized by her appearance. She smiled at the way he looked at her, it made her feel so feminine and beautiful. No man had ever done that to her and she felt like she was the happiest person in the universe.  
  
"Harry, close your mouth and kiss me."  
  
Grinning, he walked over and took her in his arms, kissing her tenderly. She marveled at his gentleness, but knew that it hid a strength that waited to be tapped. She had seen it in countless instances when they were in trouble and her first instinct was to go out in a blaze of glory, while he remained calm, surpressing his fears and assessing the situation to find a way of turning it into an advantage. She had seen it the first time they made love, when he had alternately appealed to her human and klingon side with his caresses. Sometimes she just couldn't believe her luck. Reluctantly, she escaped his arms. She lit the candles and told him to sit. After ordering the computer to turn off the lights and play some soft music, she served dinner. They ate and talked about work, about Neelix's newest culinary disasters, caught up on the latest gossip, Tom's latest conquests and Janeway's and Chakotay's for each other. Finally, when they finished dinner, Harry asked B'Elanna to dance. The computer was playing a music selection of a late 20th century musician named Kenny G. Their bodies swayed to the rhythm of the soft, romantic saxophone music. Harry felt a lump in his throat, caused by what he wanted to ask her. She felt so right in his arms that it hurt.  
  
"B'Elanna, I want to ask you something."  
  
"What is it, Harry?"  
  
"Well, will - … will you marry me?"  
  
As he said this, he released her and pulled out a small satin covered box, opening it and revealing a gold engagement ring, so simple yet beautiful, that anyone could see the exquisite workmanship of it. It was topped of with a dazzling diamond that reflected the candlelight. B'Elanna was speechless, whatever it was she was expecting, this was the last thing she had expected. Fear suddenly gripped her heart like a vise and she had trouble breathing. How could, no, how dare he ask her to marry him! Didn't he understand that what they had now was all she needed? She felt like she was suffocating, just like a marriage would suffocate her. She wanted to hit him for what he was making her go through, the bastard. Instead, she bit her tongue and said,  
  
"Harry, I can't marry you. Not now, not ever. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get to bed. It has been a long day and I need my sleep."  
  
To say he was shocked would have been an understatement. Harry felt like his heart had been ripped out, like he couldn't breathe as she uttered those words. Gathering his remaining strength, he asked the only question he could.  
  
"B'Elanna, please, why can't you marry me? I love you and I thought you loved me…."  
  
"Look, Harry, just go, okay? I'm tired and I'm not in the mood for this right now."  
  
With a hurt and confused look in his eyes, Harry left her quarters. He couldn't understand why she had started acting so strange all of a sudden. When he reached his quarters, he mechanically changed into his pyamas and went to bed but sleep didn't come. He tried to figure what he had done wrong and after a few hours of tossing and turning he slowly drifted to sleep.  
  
Meanwhile, in B'Elanna's quarters, she was lying in bed, her body racked with sobs as she winced at the hurt inside of her. How could he do this to her! What or who had given him the right? She didn't want to admit that because of the pain and hurt that she had endured for most of her life, she was truly afraid to commit. She was half-Klingon, for God's sake. She should not be feeling like this. She was going to get even with him for causing her this much pain, oh, how she was going to get even with ensign Harry Kim. Just you wait and see. She cried herself to sleep.  
  
The next day, Kim woke up, feeling miserable. He hadn't slept much and what little sleep he had managed to get had been filled with dread. After showering and dressing, he left for the mess hall. Looking around, he saw that Torres was sitting with Tom. After getting his breakfast from an ever cheerful Neelix, he walked over to where Tom and B'Elanna where sitting but before he arrived at the table B'Elanna spotted him, got up and left. Dejectedly, he went and sat with Tom, putting on his usual jovial face while crying on the inside. Suddenly he knew why Torres had been acting so strange. She was afraid! All her life she has been hurt and feared and laughed at. It's no wonder she would be scared of any kind of commitment. He was now more sure than ever that they needed to talk. He would tell her that he would always be there for her and if she did not want to get married right away, he wouldn't push but stay with her until she was ready. Thinking about this made him feel much better and as he and Tom left the mess hall to go to the bridge he felt more relaxed than ever. His shift seemed to go on forever and just before it ended, the Captain ordered him to make some modifications to the inertial stabilizer software systems. Silently cursing his bad luck, he went on his way to the Jeffries tubes on deck 14. He would be busy for the next 3 hours, another 3 hours without talking to B'Elanna, what else could go wrong today? 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: All characters with the exception of those I have made up are owned by Paramount Pictures. Feel free to distribute this story but please let me know where it's being put up. Do not remove this disclaimer nor my e-mail address and/or name. Please send all feedback (no flames) to mr_spencer@ghostrider.demon.nl  
  
  
  
CHAPTER 2  
  
  
"Hey Torres, you're supposed to eat that, not kill it for the umpteenth time."  
  
"Paris, this ' food ' is filled with leola root. I don't want to know what it is doing to our insides but at least I'll have the satisfaction of knowing that I hurt it back."  
  
"Okay, what's wrong?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Come on, B'Elanna, you've sulking the whole day, nearly biting people's head off. I say that something is bothering you and I want to know what it is."  
  
"Paris, there is nothing wrong with me, okay? Listen, I've had it with this crap. Let's get out of here."  
  
"Yeah, this food makes proteinbars look like gourmet cooking. What do you have in mind?"  
  
"Let's go to my quarters. I'll treat you to ice cream sundaes. At least it will get the taste out of our mouths."  
  
"Sounds good."  
  
Torres had no idea why she had invited Tom to her quarters, but she dismissed the thought angrily. A short time later, they were comfortably seated on the sofa, eating their desserts, talking and generally having a good time. Tom had moved to the floor while Torres was lying on the sofa, their faces just inches apart. After a particularly crude prison joke Tom had picked up in New Zealand had send them both into fits of laughter, they found both their faces directly opposite of each other. Paris looked straight into her eyes and she saw the slightest hint of danger, mixed with passion and lust in there. As if being led by an invisible hand, she was drawn to him and their lips met. Suddenly, a random thought popped into her brain,   
  
'This one is for you, Harry Kim, this is my revenge.'  
  
Paris wrapped his arms around her and pulled her down on the floor. They didn't stop kissing as the sat up and started to remove the constrictive uniforms.  
  
" Let's go to the bedroom, it's more….. more comfortable…. there…", B'Elanna murmured between kisses. Paris lifted her up, carried her to the bedroom and laid her down on the bed. She pulled him to her and they started kissing again.  
  
Harry had just finished his repairs and was planning to go to meet Paris on Holodeck one but he wanted to talk to B'Elanna first. He stepped into the turbolift and gave his destination after having the computer confirm that she was indeed in her quarters. When he had walked up to her door, he rang the chime several times without a response. A worried look crossed his face and asked the computer again to confirm   
Lt. Torres' presence. As the computer answered in the affirmative, Harry put his ear to the door and heard faint pounding sounds coming from the room. He immediately used his command override to unlock the door and entered, fearing the worst. As the door closed behind him, he could hear heavy breathing and panting coming from the bedroom. He looked inside and immediately his blood went cold at the sight before him. There was B'Elanna, the woman he loved, naked in the arms of Tom Paris his best friend who was also naked. It was pretty obvious what they were doing. Suddenly, Tom looked up and spotted Harry.  
  
" Oh…oh, Harry, …. I'm sorry, I forgot…..our ap- appointment…."  
  
Up to that moment, Torres had not noticed Harry's presence in the room, she had been too busy with Tom. But upon hearing Tom, she quickly turned around and gasped as she saw him standing in the dooropening. A sudden feeling of deep shame like she hadn't felt in years ran through her as she realized what she had done. Before she could say anything, Harry turned around and walked out of her quarters without saying a word. She quickly jumped up, put on a robe and ran after him, calling his name, but by the time she reached the door and opened it he was gone. She closed the door and rested her back against it, slowly sliding down until she had reached a sitting position. All the anger at his marriage proposal had left her; she realized now that with one stupid, childish action she had lost her one chance at happiness and started to cry. Paris was immediately by her side.  
  
  
"Lanna, what's wrong? Tell me, please?"  
  
"Oh, Tom, this should never have happened…. Harry and I…."  
  
She tried to get the words out but was choked up by the tears that were now streaming freely down her face. Paris suddenly had a cold feeling in his stomach, fearing he knew what had happened and fervently hoping it wasn't so. In his gut he knew that that was an idle hope but still…..  
  
"He…He asked me to marry him yesterday and….and…"  
  
"What? But…but have you and him been…been seeing each other then, I mean in that way?"  
  
"Yes, for eight months", she said in a small voice that sounded foreign to her own ears.  
  
  
Paris stared at her in disbelieve and feeling like he was lower than dirt. Oh man, just what he needed, to become involved with one of the most beautiful women on the ship and finding out, in a very embarrassing way that his best friend had been already asked her for her hand. This was bad.  
  
  
"But why did you ask me here, let this happen, B'Elanna?"  
  
"I don't know, Tom, I'm sorry. I didn't know what happened. It just happened and I wish to God it didn't happen, that there was a way to turn it all back, but there isn't….."  
  
With that, she began to cry again, with Paris trying to comfort her. She wanted to kill herself right then. How could she have been so stupid? She knew the answer to that one; she had wanted to punish Harry but now it was her and by extension Tom who where punished. With one act of immature defiance, she had not only lost the man she loved, but also her best friend, who had been there for her, ever since that day in the Ocampa hospital. But just as worse was the fact that she had destroyed the friendship between Kim and Paris. They had been the best of friends ever since they met on DS 9 and because of her that friendship was now dead and buried. She had no illusions about what would happen. Harry would not forgive either of them, ever. He would see it as the worst form of betrayal and the sad thing was, he was right. She wanted nothing more than to crawl under a rock right then, feeling like her heart had been cut out and knowing that she was the one who had wielded the knife.  
  
  
Harry Kim was stalking through the corridors, his face a mask of pure rage. The few people he encountered quickly moving out of his way, terrified at the sight of his unrestrained anger. How could she do this to him? He had thought that she loved him, but he had seen it with his own eyes. She had been playing him for a fool, seeing his best friend on the side. His best friend, he thought contemptuously. Ha, they say that only your best friend can hurt you so deeply. Well, they where right.   
  
'I bet they are having a good laugh now, about how they snookered me', he thought angrily. Suddenly, he found himself in front of the entrance to Holodeck 1 where he would have met Paris. He didn't know how he had gotten there but went in without giving it a second's thought. Sandrine's was playing and several crewmembers were playing pool, drinking and talking. He felt his anger grow even more at the sight of them. He wanted them out of there, he wanted to break something, preferably Tom Paris and B'Elanna Torres but that would only land him in the brig. Lt. Carey noticed him standing in the doorway and smiled at him, but the smile froze on his face when he saw the anger in Kim's eyes. Compared to Kim, the chief engineer's wrath was like a gentle summer rain. Carey had never seen him angry before and did not want to know what had gotten the Chief of Operations mad enough to look like a volcano on the verge of eruption.  
  
" Carey, I want everybody out of here, now."  
  
  
Even though his voice was deceptively calm, Carey could practically feel the anger like being hit with a sledgehammer.  
  
  
"Ensign, is there something wrong with the Holodeck? Maybe I can help."  
  
"Lt. Carey, I will say this only once, you and everybody get out of the Holodeck, NOW."  
  
"Yes, sir. Everybody, we are leaving the Holodeck. Come on, move it!"  
  
  
The gathered crewmen had been watching the exchange between the two officers with interest and had all noticed the demeanor of their Operations Chief. They knew that they did not want him to turn on them; it was like he was possessed or something.  
  
"Computer, override entry-code to Holodeck 1, Authorization Kim Sigma 4-9 Alpha. Save Program and enter new program, parameters as follows: barren landscape with no humidity, 20 Klingon warriors with edged weapons, highest skill levels. And disengage safety interlocks on this program."  
  
"Regarding the newly input parameters, it would be hazardous to disengage safety interlocks", the computer responded.  
  
"Computer, I repeat, disengage safety interlocks, Authorization Kim Delta 7-4 Epsilon Gamma."  
  
In a second, the dark, smoky bar was replaced by a desert wasteland caught in a clouded twilight. Smoke was everywhere and the signs of battle were obvious. Harry willed himself to relax, calling upon the ancient prayers of his people his grandfather had taught him so long ago. As he cleared his mind, he felt his senses sharpen and he became aware of everything around him. He could hear the sand moving as the soft wind blew, could hear the movement of the sparse grass as it swayed. His grandfather's lessons came back to him even though he had not practiced this form of martial arts for years, instead focusing on those taught at the Academy. But he did not want to use those, they were too soft and all he wanted right now was to strike out with all the power and anger he could. Just then he remembered something his grandfather had taught him,  
  
  
"Striking in anger is not wise when facing an opponent. It will let you make mistakes. You have to become one with the wind, banish it from your mind, let your body and mind become one. Be like the dragon, who waits and watches for an opening to strike the decisive blow, not like the tiger who attacks without thinking."  
  
Thinking of his grandfather's words calmed him down further. He was ready now. He felt the movement of the Bath'Leth even before he heard the sound it made as it moved towards his neck and rolled forward. He quickly rose into a crouch and saw the big Klingon come menacingly toward him. Without thinking, but with mind and body completely centered, he counterattacked, performing a flawless maneuver, called a Kokyu, pushing himself out of his crouching position towards the Klingon warrior and hitting his legs with his back, causing the warrior to fly over him and land hard on the ground. Immediately, Harry was on his feet, rushing towards the Klingon and with his knuckles crushed the warrior's larynx, the subsequent swelling blocking his trachea, making him gasp for air that would not enter his closed off windpipe. The warrior thrashed from side to side for a few moments and then went completely still, his eyes turning into lifeless orbs. This one had just been a scout, the others would come soon and he was ready for them.  
  
  
Chakotay was on his way to the Holodeck when he saw a number of crewmembers, standing with their ears against the Holodeck doors. He spotted Carey as being one of them and motioned him over.  
  
"Carey, what is going on? Why are you listening at the door?"  
  
"Well, sir, ensign Kim came in, looking like he was going on a berserker rage if anyone said anything and ordered us to leave the Holodeck. I thought he would snap my neck when I asked him what was wrong."  
  
"Harry Kim, you say? But that is not possible, he wouldn't hurt a fly", Chakotay replied, his brow creasing in astonishment at the engineer's words.  
  
"That might be true, Comdr., but he is really pissed of, if you pardon the expression. Somebody has made him mad as hell. I have seen Lt. Torres in her worst moods and nothing comes closes to the one he's in. And if you don't believe me, listen through the door."  
  
As Chakotay put his head against the door, he could hear the sounds of battle, the sound of steel on steel, the screams of men dying in agony. He immediately ordered the doors to open but was surprised when the computer replied that a security lockdown was in place. In frustration he used his command override to open them. After ordering Carey and the other crewmembers to stay outside, he entered. As he heard the doors close behind him, the sounds of battle grew louder. He looked through the smoke but it was hard to make anything out. Carefully picking his way through the rock-strewn ground, he looked about to see if there where any potential enemies lying in wait.   
  
Before entering, the computer had friendly informed him that the safety-interlocks had been disengaged, meaning that the holographic opponents could kill you as easily as the real ones could. Suddenly he became aware that the battle sounds had ceased. Somehow, the quiet seemed more deafening in intensity, as if whatever was out there was waiting for him to tear him to pieces. He rounded a huge boulder and gasped at the sight before him. Harry Kim was standing on a relatively flat piece of ground, with the bodies of more than fifteen Klingons in battledress around him. His uniform was torn and he had a gash on his forehead. Chakotay was speechless; Kim had taken on 20 Klingons without the safety interlocks and with maximun skill level and had taken them out. There was nothing in his file that had indicated his abilities in this field. This was an entirely different side to the man and it was frightening to say the least.  
  
"Harry, would you mind explaining what the hell is going on here?"  
  
"Comdr., I was just- I was just blowing off a little steam. Sir", Harry said, coming to attention, his body screaming in agony.  
  
"A little steam. Well, if this indicates how you blow off a little steam, I don't want to know how you blow off a lot of steam. What is going on, Harry? This is not like you."  
  
"There is nothing going on, sir. Absolutely nothing."  
  
Chakotay noticed the determination in Kim's eyes and knew he wouldn't tell him anything, so he admonished him on his rude behaviour and the fact that he had broken Starfleet regulations as pertaining to unnecessary endangering the lives of other crewmembers. When he was finished he tried one last time to find out why Kim had acted so uncharacteristically, to no avail. As he send Kim to sickbay to get his head treated, he vowed to find out what was happening to Kim. 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: All characters with the exception of those I have made up are owned by Paramount Pictures. Feel free to distribute this story but please let me know where it's being put up. Do not remove this disclaimer nor my e-mail address and/or name. Please send all feedback (no flames) to mr_spencer@ghostrider.demon.nl  
  
  
  
CHAPTER 3  
  
  
"It was scary, Kathryn. I counted some 20 Klingon warriors, all dead."  
  
"And it was Harry who did that? That is unbelievable."  
  
"You should have seen his eyes, they were cold, empty, like marbles. I felt like I was staring at a corpse."  
  
"Do you know what caused this, Chakotay?"  
  
"No, but I intend to find out; whatever it is, it has to be something momentous that caused Kim's transformation and something like that won't stay secret here."  
  
"Very well, let me know what you find out. Anything we can do to help him, we've got to do."  
  
As Chakotay left the captain's ready room, she felt concern for Harry. Ever since he had come aboard, she had regarded him as family and she had taken on the role of surrogate mother. She wanted to help him but first she needed to know what the problem was. Sighing, she went back to reading reports.  
  
  
For the next 3 months, live on Voyager didn't change much. There were no hostile encounters, no space anomalies and no Q. The only difference was the relationship between Kim, Paris and Torres. Ever since the events on Holodeck One, Harry had been avoiding the other two even though they had tried to speak to him repeatedly. The crew had noticed that Kim only spoke to them on ship related matters and then only with a minimum of words. Even when they were off duty, he would address them by rank if they met but never spend time with them. He performed his duties and that was that. All his free time was spent either in his quarters, or on one of the Holodecks, going through heavy excersises. Torres and Paris had been looking withdrawn ever since, while Torres had lapsed back into her slapshot angry face, nearly tearing off anybody's head for the smallest mistake.   
  
Paris had even stopped chasing after the women. The crew knew it was serious but nobody knew what it was all about. Nobody dared talking to B'Elanna for fear of ending up in sickbay while talking to Kim could have the same consequences since his Holodeck excersises were the sort that broke Starfleet Marines and Tom Paris would not let anyone in. Kes had tried but he had muttered something about not being able to breach a trust and had left for his quarters. During the end of this 3 month period, they were about to enter a sector of space with no planets or other places where to get supplies. The only place in the sector they were about to exit where they could get supplies, was a planet with a late 20th century industry.  
  
"Scans of the planet show that we could get both food supplies and other materials needed for our systems there. I have discovered large deposits of dilithium crystals in both polar caps while the mountains on the northern continent have large quantities of tritanium and duranium ore among other metals. We could reconfigure the transporters to extract the materials in their rawest form and set up a processing unit in Cargo bay 4. As for the food supplies,….."  
  
"May I remind you captain, that the prime directive forbids any contact with any Pre-warp civilization at all cost. It would therefore be unwise to contact these people."  
  
"Logged and noted, Tuvok, but that doesn't help us in our food situation. Had we obtained these starcharts earlier, we could have prepared for this. Now we seem to not have a choice."  
  
"Captain, why don't we just send someone down there, disguised as a local to buy the needed supplies? It would solve a lot of problems."  
  
"The Comdr. is right, captain. The doctor could surgically alter one of us to resemble a member of the local population. That way, we could blend in and get the supplies without any undue attention."  
  
"Ensign, what do you propose we use as method of payment? It is not like they would accept the goods we have since they are alien, so bartering is out of the question."  
  
  
Harry thought for a moment and answered, " Captain, part of their industry is mining. It was one of the first places I checked to see what is was they were mining and if we could use it. They are extracting gold and diamonds from the soil. Not in the greatest quantities, so it is valuable. I can check to see if there is a diamond and gold merchant district like there used to be in the city of Amsterdam on 20th century Earth. If that is the case, all we need to do is replicate diamonds or gold, sell it to one of these merchants and have enough of the local currency to buy supplies. We could rent a warehouse by the waterfront, put everything there and beam it up at night. Nobody would notice."  
  
  
The captain pondered this suggestion a bit. She looked up at Chakotay who nodded imperceptibly and the to Tuvok who indicated his satisfaction over this plan.  
  
  
"A most unorthodox but satisfactory plan, ensign. However, for it to succeed, we must study their business practices carefully, so as not to become entangled in legal problems."  
  
"Very well, people, that settles it. Tuvok, you and Harry work on it. I want this over in less than a week. Now, something else."  
  
  
As the captain said this, she picked up a lacquered wooden box, rounded the table and stood before Harry. She opened it and offered him ….. a cigar!  
  
"Eh, Captain, what is this?"  
  
"That, mr. Kim, is called a cigar. It is made up of tobacco leaves. They are hazardous to one's health, that is why no one on earth uses them anymore except some people for ceremonies. These are still made by a small company called Monte Christo."  
  
"Ceremonies, captain?"  
  
  
Janeway smiled as she handed everyone a cigar and said,  
  
"Some people still hand these out when they have become fathers but in Starfleet there are a number of officers who still honor a centuries old tradition. This box was a gift from your father, Mr. Paris, when I got my first command."  
  
With these words, she stood to attention and said,  
  
"Congratulations, Lt. Kim."  
  
Harry was thunderstruck. Whatever he had expected, it wasn't this. All of a sudden, all senior officers including Kes, Neelix and the doctor where around him, congratulating him. All except Torres and Paris who looked sadly towards him. How B'Elanna longed to go over and feel him wrap his arms around her, whispering in her ear. She knew however, that that would not happen again. She was happy for him and she rejoiced every time she saw him but it was not enough and she cursed herself for her stupidity every day. Tom stood there looking lost, seeing his once best friend laughing with the others but the moment their eyes met, Harry's eyes turned stonecold.  
  
  
"Face it, Paris, you're a class A jerk. I can't blame him for this; had I been in his place, I would not have handled it this well."  
  
  
  
5 Days later. They had been able to beam up large quantities of much needed raw materials in sufficient quantities as to last them for a long time. Harry had gone down to the planet in disguise and contacted one of the biggest diamond firms. He had managed to input their database with false information about the fictitious mining company he represented so that they would not get suspicious and managed to sell a large number of high grade diamonds made by the replicators for a good price. Afterwards, he had contacted several suppliers and had gotten good deals on several foodstuffs. As it turned out, he could give a Ferengi a run for his Latinum in negotiations. All the supplies were brought to a waterfront warehouse for storage and would be transported by Voyager at night. It was his last night on the planet and he decided he would explore the nightlife a little. After a few hours, he sat down in a Cafe. A band was playing a beautiful Jazz-like number and he tried to mentally note the tune so that he could write it down and play it later. Suddenly, he gaze was drawn to the entrance and he felt a chill run down his spine. Something was wrong, the man who had entered looked around furtively as if looking for something. All of a sudden, shots were fired. The man at the entrance had pulled out some type of gun and fired it in the air. Several others, jumped up, all carrying the same type of weapons and started to herd the panicking patrons together. A man who tried to make a grab for one of the men's gun, was shot and the one by the door shot 3 more people.  
  
"That is just a warning to you people, anybody who tries to be a hero, pays for it with his life and the 3 people next to him. Now, all of you start moving outside into the waiting truck. MOVE IT!"  
  
They all got into the vehicle, while the people on the street scurried out of the way and in the distance sirens could be heard. By the time the security forces arrived at the Cafe, the terrorists were gone.  
  
Harry could not believe what had happened. What should have been a undercover supplyrun had turned into some kind of hostage situation. They had taken everything the hostages had, even his commbadge. Now Voyager would not be able to find him quickly. The apparent leader had told them that they were pawns to be used in getting the government to step down so that they could implement a strict religious regime. If the government refused, one of the hostages would die for each day the of refusal. 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: All characters with the exception of those I have made up are owned by Paramount Pictures. Feel free to distribute this story but please let me know where it's being put up. Do not remove this disclaimer nor my e-mail address and/or name. Please send all feedback (no flames) to mr_spencer@ghostrider.demon.nl  
  
  
  
CHAPTER 4  
  
  
"Captain, Tuvok here, we have a problem. Please report to the Briefing Room."  
  
"On my way."  
  
Janeway left her readyroom with a hollow feeling in her stomach. As she entered the Briefing Room, she saw Neelix, who was busy monitoring transmissions from the surface together with Tuvok. The Talaxian turned toward her, a pained look on his face.  
  
"Captain, take a look at this", he said as he gestured towards a screen with what looked to be like a news show.  
  
Janeway looked and listened; the alien related a story about a group of religious fanatics who had taken hostages in a bar, the previous night. She felt sorry for the people but she could not get involved. But what was the reason that Tuvok had called her in? Then the scene shifted and she was looking at what was obviously a amateur film. In it were all the hostages, with their hands behind their heads. Suddenly, she saw a face there she recognized.  
  
  
"No, that's Harry", she gasped, the hollow feeling in her stomach suddenly filled by a large stone weight.  
  
"Yes, captain. It seems Lt. Kim was at a cafe last night that was attacked by these so-called terrorists and taken hostage. They have demanded concessions of the government but it would be illogical to assume the government would agree."  
  
"Captain, Mr.Vulcan, look!"  
  
"Oh, my God….."  
  
One of the hostages had to bend over and put his head on a wooden log. His hands were tied behind his back and his mouth was gagged. A man wearing a mask walked up behind him. He raised his hands, holding what looked like an axe and brought them down in a swift movement. Before Janeway could turn away, the head of the man rolled away, purplish blood erupting from what had once been his neck. The corpse slowly, fell to the ground. Janeway couldn't hear anything but the scream she was holding back. After she felt composed enough, Janeway called for a staff meeting.  
  
  
"I have searched the planet surface for any sign of Lt. Kim's commsignal, however, my search has proven unsuccessful. I did find the commbadge but it was located at the headquarters of the security forces. I have beamed it back after ascertaining that Mr. Kim was not held there."  
  
"That leaves us with one option, captain. We have to scan the planet for human lifesigns. I have already started reconfiguring the long-range sensors to aid us. That way we can triple the area we have to search but it will still could take us 3,4 days not taking into account any sort of interference from materials that resist our scans."  
  
"We should concentrate our searches to the countryside. I don't think these people would take the risk of moving the hostages with some many security forces around."  
  
Paris spoke up, saying, " That leaves one question, Chakotay. Once we've found where the hostages are kept, do we go in and get Harry out or do we deliver an " anonymous " message to the authorities."  
  
"Tom, there is no question about it, as soon as we find out where he's being held, we will beam him out."  
  
"Captain, what about the other hostages? We can't just leave them there!"  
  
"Kes is right, Captain. It would be cruel to just go in for Harry while the others have to suffer. Who knows what will happen when they find out that someone has escaped. They might panic and kill them all."  
  
"Neelix, Kes, I understand, I really do but there is nothing we can do. The Prime Directive forbids us to interfere."  
  
"Captain, we are already involved by sending someone down to the planet."  
  
"In for a penny, in for a pound, doctor?"  
  
"Yes, Captain. Kes is right and so is Neelix. We have, by our own actions insinuated ourselves in this situation. Therefore, we are to finish it. As soon as we find lt. Kim, we could send down a team, take out the terrorists and free the hostages. Once the local security forces arrive, they can take over without anyone ever having to know that it was us. And before you say anything, my database contains enough data to confidently say that none of the hostages will be able to give a accurate description of their rescuers. They will all be giving conflicting statements and it will be assumed that the things they saw are due to confusion, stress and the fighting. The security forces will most likely take credit for it, since nobody knows who has actually rescued the hostages."  
  
  
Janeway pondered the doctor's arguments for a moment. When she looked up she said,  
  
"Get to it."  
  
  
Tom and B'Elanna spend the next few days, searching for Harry, she directing him which sector to search while she manned her station, scanning the surface. Then suddenly, her console beeped. She was exhausted, she hadn't slept well for the past few months and not at all since Harry's capture so she did not immediately grasp the significance. Then suddenly, her eyes went wide and she punched in a few commands.  
  
  
"Captain, I've got him! Transferring coordinates to the helm, now!"  
  
"I want a full scan of the area, all security measures, population, everything and I want it yesterday!"  
  
"Aye, captain."  
  
  
Two hours later, after the briefing, both Tom and B'Elanna approached the captain.  
  
  
"Captain, we would like to be part of the rescue operation."  
  
"That is out of the question, B'Elanna, the both of you have been up since this thing started. You are exhausted. It would be dangerous to send you down in your condition."  
  
"Captain, I asked the doc for some stim-shots and B'Elanna is a lot tougher than most of us. We can handle it. Please reconsider", Tom pleaded.  
  
  
She looked both of them in the eye, thinking about what had happened between the 3 of them. Nobody knew, but both Tom and B'Elanna wanted to go to help their friend. The two of them had done something that had hurt Harry and they had been suffering for it. They both looked exhausted and not only from the last few days of tenseness. And now they were trying to redeem themselves. Against her better judgement, she agreed and couldn't help but smile at the elation in their eyes.  
  
  
Harry was in pain. He had at least 2 broken ribs, received when he had tried to stop one of the terrorists from beating and raping a young girl. He was glad that the doctor's efforts in disguising him had been effective enough to stop the most vicious of the blows. A second layer of skin had been grafted onto his body, with in between a gel like substance with the color of the aliens' blood. It had acted as a cushion. He was going to die tomorrow, they had told him. All he could think about was that he would never see Voyager again, never see his friends again. Hold it, he had no friends, the only people he had called his friends had betrayed him. In his last hours, with nothing to do, he started thinking about the past 3 months.  
  
  
"Hey Harry, can I come in?"  
  
"Sure, Megan. Can I get you anything?"  
  
"No, thanks."  
  
Megan Delaney sat down on the sofa, her eyes never leaving Harry. She knew something was going on between him, Paris and Torres but nobody knew what it was. She had a pretty good idea what it might be but she wanted to hear it from Harry. Paris hadn't told her sister anything, so now it was her turn.  
  
  
"Okay, Harry, out with it."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Come on, Harry, don't play dumb with me. We've known each other long enough not to play games with each other. What is the matter between you, B'Elanna and Tom?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Nothing. There is nothing going on, right?"  
  
"That's right."  
  
She looked at him for a moment before continuing,  
  
"How long have you been in love with her, Harry?"  
  
"What do you mean, Megan", he said, trying to keep a pokerface, while inside, his mind was running in circles, trying to find some way out of his predicament.  
  
"How long have you been in love with B'Elanna, Harry?"  
  
"How did you find out?"  
  
"I've seen the looks you've been giving each other. I have been there myself, so I know. Now tell me what happened."  
  
  
Harry sat silently contemplating if he should tell Megan what had happened. He sighed deeply and told the story.  
  
"Harry, I think she got scared when you asked her to marry you. You know how she is, better than any of us. I've heard some of the stories about her childhood and frankly, if I had had half as bad a life as she had I would never have been able to get my life together like she has. She is still scared. You of all people should know how she reacts when she is scared, Harry. She strikes out without thinking. She doesn't even think straight. Isn't that right, Harry?"  
  
"Yeah, she just goes berserk."  
  
"You see, Harry, she's scared because nobody has ever loved her. Everybody she knew was afraid of her, because of her Klingon side. And along came you; you didn't care what her heritage is. You love her for what she is and that has never happened to her before. Can't you see, she reacted in the only way she knew how. She didn't really mean to hurt you. Just look at her, when she is off duty in the mess hall, she just sits staring off in the distance. She snaps at people for no reason. She is back being the old B'Elanna Torres. Hell, she's far worse then when she came on board!  
  
You should go talk to her. You have a lot of things between the two of you to resolve, Harry. And you should talk to Tom, also. He is hurting just as much, maybe more, because he probably feels that he has betrayed both of you."  
  
  
With those words, Megan Delaney had gotten up and left, leaving Harry to ponder the events that had led up to this mess. Now he was here, about to die and nothing had been resolved. If only Voyager could find him, than he would talk to her and maybe, just maybe he would give her another chance.  
  
  
"See anything, Tuvok?"  
  
"Yes, mr. Paris, I see a lot."  
  
"Come on, you know what I mean."  
  
"If by that you mean, if I see Mr. Kim, than the answer is no. Now please, be quiet."  
  
They had been in position for over 2 hours before dawn and the sun was now up. It was early morning; Torres and Paris where together, hidden behind a row of bushes and watching the guards move about. Suddenly, there was movement as several more guards brought out the remaining hostages, one of them separated from the rest.  
  
It was obvious that this hostage was to be the next one to be killed as retaliation for the government's refusal to step down. B'Elanna gasped when she saw who it was.  
  
  
"Tuvok, that's Harry! We've got to move now!"  
  
"Not yet, Lt. Wait for my signal. Everybody stand by. Pick your targets."  
  
  
As Tuvok assigned new targets to every member of his security team, B'Elanna watched with a pounding heart the events unfolding in front of her. Harry was led to the chopping block and forcibly pushed down on his knees. The executioner raised his axe and was about to bring it down when…..  
  
  
"Fire."  
  
  
From several hidden positions, phasershots lashed out, hitting the unsuspecting terrorists dead center. Before they had even hit the ground unconscious, the other guards were being hit. The man who had brought Harry out, however, had dodged the shot aimed at him and was firing back. Kim immediately pushed himself off the ground and hit him in the back like a linebacker. The man when down hard, a loud whoosh signifying the air which was escaping from his lungs as Harry fell on top of him. He got up immediately and the toe of his boot connected solidly with the man's chin. Several minutes later, the last of the terrorists had been stunned and the hostages had fled in the confusion. Tuvok ordered that the terrorists were to be tied up and placed a call through to security headquarters. After that they all ran for the high grass and disappeared into it, to be beamed up. All the while, B'Elanna and Tom did not move from Harry's side as if to make sure that he was alive.   
  
In sickbay, the doctor immediately set to work on Harry's injuries, first sedating him. Torres would not budge from his side and the doctor, after initially ordering her to leave decided to let her stay, provided she let the patient sleep. He was not in the mood for another screaming match. 


	5. Epilogue

Disclaimer: All characters with the exception of those I have made up are owned by Paramount Pictures. Feel free to distribute this story but please let me know where it's being put up. Do not remove this disclaimer nor my e-mail address and/or name. Please send all feedback (no flames) to mr_spencer@ghostrider.demon.nl  
  
  
EPILOGUE  
  
  
It had been a week since Harry's rescue. The doctor had given him 2 weeks off, so he could recuperate. When he had woken up in sickbay, B'Elanna had been sitting by his side for almost 24 hours without sleep. She had looked exhausted. Before he could say anything to her, the doctor had showed up, followed by the captain and the entire senior staff. When he looked around for her, she was gone. He had asked Tom to stay awhile and they had finally talked. It had felt good and when Tom finally left 4 hours later, they where friends again. It was like a burden had been lifted from both their souls. Now there was just one last thing he needed to do. He stopped before the door and rang the chime.  
  
  
" Enter."  
  
"B'Elanna, there is one thing I want to know, then I will be on my way. I love you, will you marry me?", Harry said as he stepped into her quarters.  
  
  
B'Elanna looked in shock at Harry. This she had never expected. Tom had told her that Harry and he had talked and that Harry had forgiven him and that they were friends once again. She had been delighted to hear that; at least they had made up for something that wasn't Tom's fault in the first place, solely hers. She had taken strength from it, knowing that Harry would never forgive her. She knew she wouldn't forgive herself for what she had done. Yet, here he was asking her to marry him as if that fateful night had never happened. She searched his eyes and saw only love there, the same burning desire she had seen there the first time they had kissed in the caves on Draneck 2, being hunted by the Dranian firebeasts, thinking that they would never see Voyager again and deciding that they didn't want to die without letting the other one know how they felt for each other.  
  
  
"Yes, Yes Harry, I love you too. But why do you still want to marry me after what I've done?", she answered his question, her voice quivering and not caring that it did.  
  
"I know why you did it and I forgive you. It is partly my fault because I rushed you into it and I'm sorry for that. But be warned, if you ever do something like that again, Klingon or no Klingon blood, I'll take you down", he said with a small smile. She knew what had happened on the Holodeck. A smile, the first genuine smile in months lighted up her face.  
  
  
"I am waiting, Lt. Torres. What is your answer?"  
  
"YES, OH YES, I WILL, I WILL MARRY YOU, HARRY KIM!!!", she said as he wrapped his arms around her, marveling at how right she felt in his arms. She looked up at him, her hands on his chest, feeling like the happiest woman in the universe and then their lips met. She felt tears rolling down her cheeks, not of sadness but of joy. She knew that she would never let anything come between them again.  
  
  
  
  
  
THE END 


End file.
